FearThat betrayal and fear of rejection I have ingrained so deeply in me leaves me chewing my nails sometimes...
but I'm learning how to deal with it slowly now, I've found a new secret weapon...
he's an amazing guy
My Little Love PoemTears hot burning poise on the brink of my nose cascading like steaming ice sheets down my face hate, love laced curtains of fear and uncertainty and aloneness down my face in waves and waterfalls of full, flowing, powerful passionate something cling to my heart holding tight as it flows down seeping in and soaking through and cleaning out and pulling down to put up a new, beautiful, whole one. Light and white and colour fill the world as clouds take shape and trees leaves and little bugs appear on blades of grass and weave beautifully on hair-fracture feet. LMy Little Love Poem
Behind SilenceSilence. That deathly quiet. The calm before the storm. The holding of an indrawn breath cut short. A stillness so clear you could hear a lizard breathe, if it did.Behind Silence
And behind silence- well who knows?
There is something about this strange noise, for a noise it must be for its effect on people, that terrifies us so. Is it the unfamiliarity of a space not busy, or the distrust of a mind not too ful to think freely? Is it the fear of the perceived aloneness and isolation from the world? Is it the unease of the lack of words to fill the space? Or is it something deeper?
Perhaps it is the terror of hearing wh
Life, Death and HappinessI can feel the small thuds moving up my legs as the wakeboard hits the ripples. Can hear the whistling, whooshing noise of the air rushing past. Can smell and even taste the earthy and sickly sweet dam water still in the back of my throat from when it was forced up my nose.Life, Death and Happiness
As the boat settles down to a comfortable cruising speed I shift my position on the board and lean back relaxed; just letting the boat pull me along. This is a good feeling. A natural feeling. Being so close and in touch with my surroundings; moving along inches from the water, virtually naked, at what feels like must be a dangerous speed but knowing it's not,
The Crush of a Gay ManOh this petrarchan love of mine how bitter and so sweet euphoric giddiness dripping syrup strained thoughts of impossible love over fractured shards of a heart. Frustration grief surpassed with ugly puppy love, simple and raw and tortuous. Oh moans and weighed down heart's cry Pitiful helpless broken hearts. But oh love is so beautiful So sinuous and alluring twining round open eyes and minds and through open hearts.The Crush of a Gay Man
Love flits a curvy path round heaven and hell with the soul in between and battling for both. Oh how I've wished i
Who I AmWho I AmWho I Am
Do you know the places that I have been? To the ends of the earth, to that never - land. Do you understand the things that I have seen? The darkest places of the human soul. But when I think of all that time we spent together,
never thought that I was strong, so strong forever-
now I wanna be who I am.
Should I fault myself for the things that I have done? Live a life of regret in a single moment? Do I really show the me that's wrapped inside? To be understood- to be accepted? But do I really know all those parts of me? Those parts that I must struggle so har
| A broken promise can only be known by a kept one, can it not? So is love. |
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"To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner." - Lestat
keep rogue diaries coming
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Misanthropy: General Loathing Of Humanity. Sounds oddly familiar...
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